We Said Goodbye, But I Said Hello!

Hello to my new life..One without you
I have nothing against you at all
Even after the nonsense I put up with {you know what I mean}
Everything made me stronger..A better woman in myself..No, in Christ
Why didn't I follow my instincts? Smh us women..
I knew when we first met that you weren't right for me
I even said it to you..I used that word "never" and then....
I went along with it, hoping that one day things would magically change
Funny thing is I don't even believe in magic
I believed in us so much though..I don't even know why..
Maybe I was afraid to let go because I had already spent so much time
I had given so much..Maybe too much..
Time went by and the distance between us grew..Not only physically, but emotionally
Of course you didn't feel it..
I started feeling like we were just cool, but with a title that said we were more
I knew in my mind and heart that it needed to end
I was settling
Not trying to dog you at all..I'm sure you'll be perfect for someone else..
Someone made it even easier for me to let go
My eye opener
My eye opener came along and showed me what I deserve
We got so close in such a short amount of time..It's crazy {that's another blog..maybe..whew!}
I realized that I wasn't getting what I needed..What I should have..
I wasn't happy and my eye opener made it so easy for me to be
So now it's just me..HAPPY! On my own
I woke up the day after we deaded it feeling so full and so complete!
I think that was the sunniest day I've ever seen
I felt like God was saying "If you'd just listen to ME, you could feel this way always!"
I had been ignoring him for so long, but of course he was there waiting for me {again}..Waiting for when I was ready to stop doing things my way
I'm not even mad that it's over
Not sad either
A couple people found out and told me how sorry they were to hear the news
I still don't understand why because I'm not sorry
Things change..People change..And life goes on..
We Said Goodbye, But I said Hello!
Hello to my new life..One without you

...but I LOVEE himm!

What's up guys?? So I've been thinking of things to write since I created the blog. Every time I was inspired to write, I'd get distracted with school and/or assignments, work and other things and my thought(s) would be lost. I figured I should sign in quickly and let this out before it was lost like the other posts. Now hear me out....

So about a week ago, I was dubbed "Ms. Stewart the Therapist" against my will, but it's cool. See there's this girl I go to school with who is going through a really rough time. Now I have no issue {whatsoever} listening to people and giving advice if I'm able to, but I have my own problems you know? You may see that as a selfish statement, but I'm being real. I just hate that people always seem to need me when I need to vent myself. Anyway, I'm getting off track.

So this girl randomly begins telling me about her boyfriend and how he's been treating her. She tells me how they've been together for quite some time now, and that they've argued from the beginning. She complains about how unhappy she is with the relationship and then she begins sharing a story about a fight they'd recently had. Now when she said fight, I assumed she meant they got into another one of their arguments, but this chick actually meant FIGHT! Lol {I laugh because it's shocking, not because it's funny} She tells me that her boyfriend had shoved her and bit her =O Like a freakin animal right?!?? Then she says, "...but God's working it out."......HOLD UP!!......Are you serious?!??

Honestly, I was irritated in the beginning because I barely know this girl. Now
I can say that I thank God for placing her in my path because it's giving me the chance to share with her the God that I know, and it's giving me the chance to help her put the pieces back together. Being there for her is also teaching me to be more selfless. That's something that I definitely need work on. I'll continue to be a listening ear/helping hand the best that I know how. Hopefully she'll become a lot more confident in herself and in God. So I guess what I wanna know is......

Why is it so hard for some ladies to grasp the fact that they should be treated as queens? Why do some of them settle because they honestly believe that it's the best they can do? Why do some put up with CRAP and hope that one day they'll wake up and everything will be the way they want it to be..the way it should be? Let me know what you think..Guys and gals, doesn't matter......

Blessings

The Meanin Behind The Name

Hey World! So I'm new to this whole blog thing. I love to free write, but I've never shared any of what I've written..Well maybe once....Anyway, lately I've been feeling the urge to create a blog because I've had so much on my mind. I can't wait to get started! Hopefully I'll get some followers soon! :o/ Lol..

So I decided to use this first post to share the meaning behind the name "Specks"...See I'm really shy and laid back. I allow people to get to know me slowly. The more time you spend communicating with me in some way, the more you learn {because the more I reveal}..I think that's everyone though. I thought the name "Specks" would be perfect because to me, each blog post, or "speck", is my way of sharing a tiny bit of my thoughts with you readers. You may say "Well duhh, Jemeka!" but this is soo huge to me! Soo huge! This is me giving you readers a look into my feelings, my head, my heart, my L-I-F-E..WHEW! Each post will be a piece of me I guess. I hope you all enjoy and keep up with me..Maybe I'll come back later and write some more....

Blessings